3rd Party Conflict Resolution, Anyone?

Yeah...because THAT works...also, I respect you so much more now...

Speak To Me

Things left unspoken can often go awry

Words, once yearned for, cannot be un-yearned!

All alone I squirm and silently plead for more

Waiting, wanting, watching - your every little move

Things, once spoken, put a soul at ease

Knowing where they stand and

Closing that chapter for good

Speak despite the consequences, speak

Things, once spoken, can hurt, can burn, can bruise

Words, finally heard, for better or for worse

Can heal, in time, they heal

But things left unspoken, will only cause more pain

The innermost of thoughts should be freed

Not once should they be held back

Verbalized, materialized and SAID

Consequences be damned, here's what's on my mind...

Work E-mails...

"Dear"
Translation: Yo, what'syername, this is for you

"I hope this reaches you well"
Translation: I'm human, I swear

"Please advise"
Translation: YOU friggin' do it

"Kind Regards"
Translation: No, really, I'm human

and my personal favourite, the cherry on my metaphorical cake:
"SINCERELY"
Translation: Can't believe I'm finally done writing to this piece of shit...

...who the fuck are we all kidding??

Core

I have this theory that when it comes right down to the core of it, people are either inherently good, or they're just bad seeds.

I also like to believe that everyone's born basically good for that first split-second of life - and whatever turns a person bad goes down to the nature versus nurture question but let's not get too tangled in that nasty, endless web.

So I classify people I meet as core-good and core-bad. Granted, it's a simplistic theory, but it's helped me make some very delicate decisions in my tender 23 years of life.

And it makes me think about the word core: as a root, a beginning, and origin. Where'd it come from? Is it like ore? Core? Mineral ores and emotive cores?? Hah! My sister brings up this question: Why is 'Or' in French 'Gold' while 'Ore' in English means 'Raw Material'? Maybe their root in another language (Latin?) lies in a word that means 'Pure' or 'Essence'...

Or...ore...original? Origin? Do they all stem from the same root? Ah, the irony, that the word 'original' stems from another word and is not so original after all!

So, yes, people...(is it too late to salvage this post as a coherent, well-thought out passage?)...people...I'm disappointed...I see far too much of the 'core-bad' types and I'm starting to think it just has to be a flaw in my theory...or maybe it's my flawed sense of perception?

Whatever it is, I have to have hope that there's more good out there than bad. And I want to seek it out, and I want to surround myself in it...and be a part of it, not apart from it.

In the Absence of Decency...(this goes out to the human race)

Hello?

Your comments are of no value.

You've no respect for anything.

Each of you hides behind their respective barrier...be it religion, pseudo-logic or anonymity...

A barrier is a wall is a fence is something to cower behind is an easy tool is a barrier is a barrier is a barrier is a barrier - why won't you face me?

I don't care who you are, you must have more to say, you must be decent at least at the most basic level, you have to be, you owe the world that much!

I can't believe anyone is that empty, is that shallow, is that low, could stoop to such levels of disgraceful human behavior.

War on Pronouns!!

Before I start what it is this post is meant to convey, let me explain myself a little further.

More and more I have been experiencing this phenomenon of the word 'am' being used distinctly separately from the word 'I' in one of the most common sentence beginnings: AM going out, AM so happy, etc...

(Just say I AM, people, I AM or simply I'M, hell, I'll even settle for IM, no apostrophe...it's not rocket science!)

Having begged and pleaded people to be smarter about their grammar and use the pronoun 'I' in conjunction with the word 'am' - and getting nowhere in convincing them, I am afraid I have been forced to drastic measures:

To show everyone the severity of their "misdemeanor", I have vowed to stop using pronouns altogether until I can show just ONE person the error of their ways, and have them use proper grammar again.

---

And now, to begin:

Hand has been forced into doing; will not apologize for weakness of sentence structure in paragraph here! Refuse to use so-called 'pronouns', and not responsible for discomfort in reading sentence like the sentence are reading right now. Deal with problem by spreading the word! Get people to stop using word AM on own unless sentence calls for, in strange scenario unknown. Maybe can help with example of?

Keep in mind, have not specifically waged war on "indefinite pronouns", but am being careful not to overuse/use at all - if can.

Be more informed, have found good links to share with:

http://www.esldesk.com/grammar/pronouns.htm

www.tacomacc.edu/upload/files/academics/studentlearningcenter/What%20is%20a%20Pronoun.doc

AM aware of sounding a little crazy.

AM really perturbed by use of AM on own.

AM forcing self to type as such.

AM almost bleeding internally in trying to make point here!!

Help spread the word!

Grammar nazis unite!

Typo Girl: the Very First Sketch!

What thinketh you?

Rise Above

I'm taking a stand that doesn't really matter to anyone...Does anything anymore?

                              What have we brought ourselves to? "It's the state of the age" - Yes, and we're the masters of this morally void destiny.

              A person's word used to mean something. There were consequences beared for every action. "You lie, cheat & steal, and I tolerate it"...and I tolerate it...

                                                          No one questions themselves anymore. No one stands up to say they were wrong. Not when it really matters. (And not that it really matters, anyway).

                                                                                        How refreshing it would be, though, if there was a reason for every action, and a sense of reason behind every word spoken.

 

                       Where's my reason for all of this?

 

Don't choke on your words, now.

Take a deep breath (1......2......3......)

And speak freely

Can You Hear Me?

Alright, so I'm a Muslim, but religion is a wholly separate matter from spirituality. WHOLLY separate. Holy - separate? Hehehe.

I believe in God.

Did I stutter?

Do I need to elaborate?

I believe in God.

There's no question mark there......not to say that questioning faith wasn't the thing that led me to belief in the first place.

So, question things, learn and be taught, ask away!

But then let go of the ifs and buts and maybes - acknowledge and embrace the knowledge of a higher being; don't be so self-important and cynical...they're ugly traits in a person. Question things to the point where there's nothing left to question and then accept things for what they are (congratulations! You've made it several steps ahead of blind faith and empty belief).

Why, then, do we still argue?

Your arguments are weak, human! Let go of your science and logical paradoxes and transcend, TRANSCEND!

Don't try to file everything away, we're talking about SPIRITUALITY here (let's not get into religion, I've a whole other bunch of theories on that).

Where does your precious logic come in when it comes to matters of the other realm? Of the divine?

I don't believe in blind faith, either, and I've had my doubts about God (haven't we all? It's a part of that quest to a higher understanding), but no longer...

Don't forget to seek truth in everything, and don't tie yourself down to these simplistic theories: Argue both sides and see where it takes you (never forget to see from all perspectives).

And then breathe. You've found all the answers you'll need.

Musing on Muses (It's Amusing!)

My muse? It stems from a completely selfish place! A need for self-preservation (specifically, a need to stay sane to survive!).
See, unfortunately most of my writing starts with a blunt emotional kind of pain (a lump in my throat, a ten ton anvil on my chest, a pounding thick feeling in my head) - nothing cures that better than a well-written piece of poetry (a well-placed word in a well-formed sentence) - and all else falls into place!
In sum: experience; it all boils down to experiences.

Say Goodbye

Looking out my window for days

Black out for days

I'm in a daze

 

Knowing there's not much of me left

Not much is left

So little depth

 

Cursing what I think of myself

I'm by myself

No one to help

 

Wave and say goodbye to me now

Goodbye for now

I take my bow

Consolement (in Reverse)

I can handle myself just fine

I always have

But thanks for your dishonest sympathy

Or whatever it is, I guess

 

I've been through this time after time

& time and a half

So thanks for your empty empathy

Half-hearted, at best

 

This feeling has always been mine

& so I laugh

Laugh off your unintended hypocrisy

But I don't mean to jest

 

& don't worry - I don't intend to judge you

Or think any less

 

& don't worry - this feeling will be gone soon

But thanks, I guess...

Succubus (The Beginning)

Succubus, so evil in their eyes

No doubt a woman, forlorn

What did he do, love,

That left you oh so torn?

 

Convenient scapegoat

I'm sorry for what they say

They've come to despise you

Blame away, blame away

 

Woman: a villain, historically

A seductress, a tease

I laugh hysterically

Is that what succubus is?

 

Woman: created of man

To better what he was not

Woman, who will better you

For what you have not?

 

Flawed by nature, human

So she's taken it ten steps further

Became that man-trap of desire

So no one now may hurt her

 

Human, no longer; a demon incarnate

Complete with hatred, fangs and horns

Hold back those tears, Succubus

And transform, transform

Incubus

(This was a challenge I gave to someone who refused it, so...here I am, writing it myself!)

In Western medieval legend, an incubus (plural incubi) is a demon in male form supposed to lie upon sleepers, especially women, in order to have sexual intercourse with them. It was believed to do this in order to spawn other incubi. The incubus drains energy from the woman on whom it performs sexual intercourse in order to sustain itself, and some sources indicate that it may be identified by its unnaturally cold penis. Religious tradition holds that repeated intercourse with such a spirit by either males or females (the female version of the incubus is called a succubus) may result in the deterioration of health, or even death.

What's love to you, tyrant?

You beautiful wreck of a man

You shape-shifting deviant

I fell low...so low, by your hand

 

Lord of indifference

Knows not his effect

Smiles, (that smile) and I'm his

Another for him to reject

 

She never asked for much

A mutual respect, no more

Did not expect his touch

To turn her into his whore

 

Unaffected, he never looks back

But she lets his presence dwell

Used, and repulsed by her own act

A woman who can only blame herself

 

Incubus, master actor

What have you done to this poor soul?

It lies here forgotten (hardened, a little)

Incubus! Another woman shunned?

 

Incubus, demonic concoction

What did she expect?

He feigned affection

So well...and so I fell

 

(NB: I try to remove myself from the poem -I&You become She&He- but in that last line...it's just 'I')

Breathe Deep, Breathe A Little

Breathe deep, breathe a little

Breathe in and breathe out

 

Try to take it all in

then try to push it all out

 

Rock-heavy, your chest rises

and rock-heavy it falls again

 

This isn't getting any easier

and neither am I

 

Oh, to be free of this feeling

Oh, to breathe one sweet breath

 

Oh...

 

This is not something you can sleep off

This is not a feeling you can ignore

I am not someone to be taken lightly

Yet I'm left here desiring more

 

How is it I can spread so much emotion?

And feel left receiving none

How is it we've become so jaded?

I'm done with this, I'm done

The Natural Order of Things

It's in my nature to steer clear of my comfort zone...it's not easy staying just left of centre, but how else do we become interesting, challenging individuals?

(But still I may to cling to my comfortable life)

It's in my nature not to succumb to a preconceived notion...it means I'm drawn to people from all walks of life, but they're mistrustful of my easy acceptance.

(But still I may make snap judgements and stick to them)

It's in my nature to want more from people than they ask of themselves...it's not too much, I see potential and I coax it - I don't expect from anyone what they cannot already give.

(But still I may ask too much of a potential that simply is not there)

It's in my nature to be disappointed in myself when I fail in any tiny respect, and it will haunt me until I redeem myself.

(But still I may forget my failures when I simply cannot cope)

& It's in our nature (oh, so human) to constantly contradict ourselves.
The difference lies in one's ability to recognize and fix this over another's reluctance to either see it or correct it.

(But still I do neither)

I Feel For You

Does every step we take forward have to mean we're getting farther and farther away from our roots?

It makes me wonder why some people are shut-down or stunted because they're trying to take that step...that leap forward...

What is society so afraid of?

Can they not tell the ambitious apart from the rebellious?
(Are they one and the same? Maybe ambition springs from rebellion, or is motored by it, maybe...but maybe it really is a purely positive force)

I feel for you but I don't feel with you...because I don't have that driving force (do I want that?)...there's nothing holding me back only because there's nothing pushing me forward...so kudos to your leaping mind!

Inaction...

Time flows idly by
Still I am too slow to grasp it
My fingers feel heavy
Bound back & lethargically pulling
Is this universal matter over mind? (My mind)
My mind too weak to battle
& it's easy to give up
Why pick a losing fight?
Success is a fickle mistress
Attempt after feeble attempt
Nothing but slow responses
(Or, worse still, none)
Feelings of failure
So hard to swallow
So no longer will I try.

Act Like Ya Has It (Attitude!!!)

Do your worst
Deal me that hand
I'll still come out on top

And if you doubt me
I'll prove you wrong - just try me!
Coz I'm what they call the cream of the crop

Test me, prod me, poke me, PROVOKE!
Stoke that fire & try to bring me down

Kick me, push me, pull me, SCREAM!
Who'll be left standing in the final round?

My trunk stands firm
My roots run deeper, never stop
They move and they shift and they change but they GROW...
& that's what makes me the cream of the crop

I'm not stunted, & I won't cease
And I'm always in my own head
But if that could drive me crazy
I'd be better off dead

No! I'll use it, embrace it
Abuse it and chase it
Force it then free it
Contort it and be it...

Coz honey...

I AM the cream of the crop

Blood Ties

Break my head open & release all this pain
This shit's getting old, and so are you

I said crack my head open - I can't take this - FUCK!
Make my day, turn my inner voice off

All this pounding in my head's not going away soon
& it's you, & it's me, & we're banging away
With hatchets, with hammers, until it all fades
With spiteful insults (the tools of the trade)

I want to hurt you because I'm sick of being shit on

FUCK YOU

fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyouFUCKYOU!!!

You & I (& I...rhyme waaay too much...then break it)

You tell a lie and I...take it
You beg for my attention so I...fake it
Let's see how much longer you'll...make it
Before I decide it's time to...shake it off

You're a hack, but it intrigues me
Full of jack, but believe me
I'm more patient than I look

& I'll think twice before
I can't take any more
& finally I'll send you on your way

Stay away from me
Coz I can't pull myself out
Of this bittersweet cycle
You win - I am weak

Have some mercy on me
Coz i don't know myself now
That I've let you lead me on
For so long: so back off

Won't you just back the FUCK off?!

How about you grow a pair?
How about you decide to man-up?
How about you tell the Goddamn truth
& let me know what's what?

How about I wake up now?
How about I listen to myself?
How about I stay fucking cynical
& call you the fuck out?

Coz I know exactly what's going on
I'm done playing dumb
& if you won't stop lying to me
I'll stop lying to myself
(Before I grow quite numb)

Distrust

To hell with your mocking tone
I'm done with giving a shit

Goodbye to your brainless emotion
Embrace the most common of sense

No more of this senseless desire
Distasteful - I'm giving it up

Distrustful - it saves me my pride now
Negative...& it's eating me up

What good is my pride when I'm lonely?
So lonely: Is this growing up?